Wednesday, March 19, 2014

On Coming Home

Yup, I freaked out a little bit. Maybe a lot, or just a wee smidge more than I thought I would. I'm referring to my reaction to the title of this missive. It's now the middle of March 2014. Alli and I's rollicking Asian adventure (plus a glorious trip to Costa Rica thrown in there) has been over for some time now. We flew back from San Jose, CR on December 4th and upon setting foot in the Phoenix airport, a trip we had started in April 2012 came to a close. And just like that we were back in the land called America.

Family photo in a jungle tree house in Costa Rica. We're 25M (82ft) up in the canopy. For more info on climbing and sleeping in the tree we're in click here (THIS WAS AMAZING). *** Click to enlarge.
I think there's an unwritten rule in the travel blogosphere that you have to type a finale out, one last smattering of words that tie it all together. You know, the obligatory 'what it all means' entry, or at least, what we learned about other cultures and ourselves. Blah blah blah. Sounds like the potential to be real serious drivel, but hell, why not riff some on how this whole shebang played out. I think you're also supposed to be a tad more punctual with it than I've been. Oh well. I'll give it a shot.

I'd like to get a few things out of the way first. I didn't leave Ammmmurica for SE Asia because I had a problem being here. I didn’t hate my situation in Tucson at all. As a matter of fact it was just the opposite, I was having a ball. This wasn’t a soul-searching endeavor either. I was almost 28-years-old by the time we flew off to Singapore so I had a reasonably solid idea of who I was. I was set in my ways, and definitely had my opinions and convictions. Ask Alli about my stubbornness, she can attest to that.

We went over there to scope out some amazing places and meet the folks who live there; to get an upfront view of species and ecosystems we’d never seen before; to scarf cuisine foreign to us; to scratch an itch that had been bugging us for some time; and yeah, to help some damn sea turtles, too.

Home is where the cactus is. The expansive and always impressive Sonoran desert.
I don’t have anything grandiose to write on the lessons I learned about myself. Or have anything particularly poetic to say about our travels (in short: they were frickin' incredible). That’s not really what this post is all about. I could probably delve into some witty commentary on the inane buffoonery of drunken backpackers ‘discovering what it all means’ on a Malaysian beach or the zen highs-and-lows of Nepali public bus travel, but I can’t be bothered (that’s just one of the brilliant British phrases I’ve come to love).

This epilogue is about what it has been like to come home. To return somewhere I hadn't been for almost 20 months. I'd be ruthlessly lying through my teeth if I didn't say it was tough to return to the U.S. It's funny that when you're traveling around with no job it's viewed as quite romantic, but as soon as your return to your native country, you are in a sense homeless and out-of-work.

The entire transition has been much more complicated and frustrating than I ever could have imagined. In reality, and maybe I was being a little too naive, but I thought it was going to be fairly cut and dry. I come home, see friends and family, eat unhealthy numbers of al pastor tacos and Sonoran hot dogs, find a few Gila monsters, drink stouts and IPAs, get a job somewhere, find a house with the Lady and blend back into the blob of over 300 million people living here.

Literally my first Sonoran hot dog after SE Asia.
Not so fast hombre. I've accomplished all of the things above (though my taco and hot dog consumption could be somewhat higher), except overall it's been a peculiar transition. It's almost hard to put into words, but I am writing a blog here so I'll do my best. I felt out of step. I felt a sense of floating around events taking place, like I was watching it all pan out from a distance. Random things were shockingly annoying. Most friends had moved onward-and-upward since our departure. The fact that I was unemployed and the next age I turned was 30 started to freak me out. The latter statement was one thing I especially never thought would be an issue that I would grapple with.

The minutiae of daily life irked me: driving on eight-lane highways while passing the umpteenth Arizona strip mall; writing cover letter after cover letter; planning for rent checks, utility bills and car payments; not being able to buy any medication over the counter for whatever your ailment is (visiting a doctor in Asia? Fuhgettaboutit); the fact that a crappy sandwich from a student union here costs more than a delectable Malaysian dish swimming in peanut sauce; and so on and so on.

All of this griping though had to cease. Partly because I didn't want to devolve into some Larry David/Louis C.K. character that was always complaining about their situation. And partly because the reason I felt like this was that I wasn't ready to give up our experience. While we had been back in the States for some time, I kept comparing our post-trip life to our travels (for example: the laundry list of grievances in the previous paragraph). That just doesn't work.

I lost sight of what our return was all about: reconnecting with people, moving ahead in our professional lives, eating real cheese again, hiking through Arizona's stunning red-rock and saguaro-studded canyons, etc etc. We got to ride an exceptional wave for over 1.5 years, but returning only to nitpick away at daily life in America was taking away from the overall picture.

The Lady in Pima Canyon, Santa Catalina range, Arizona.
The truth is that the minutiae of daily life everywhere is irksome. While Alli and I regale folks with jolly, pithy tales of our life in SE Asia, there was plenty that you could label frustrating, too. Language issues; having an outbreak of slimy, airborne worms descend on your house, which ooze to death upon contact; the constant stress of helping run a conservation project in a village where your presence is not always desired; rats chewing through your hotel ceiling while one of you is deep within the depths of a post-malarial medication sickness; rubbing the wrong jungle plant causing your skin to burst into an itchy mess; living out of your sweat-stained backpack in poorly-ventilated plywood guest-house rooms; I think you get the point.

I was doing the same thing upon my return home that people do who don't enjoy their time abroad, whether it's for work, holiday or just plain living. It's unrealistic and a recipe for going down a post-travel depression wormhole to think anything in America is going to resemble our Asian adventure. You can't compare the two. It's grapefruits and durians. Hip-hop and K-pop. Hersheys and Milo.

So where do we go now? Alli and I have no plans to go abroad in the immediate future. We just signed a lease to an old-school adobe-esque house in Tucson. We've both lined up gigs, hers is back as a research specialist at the University of Arizona but in a new lab. I'm doing field work again (bats in Texas, herps in Arizona and surrounding states). We're also going to be an aunt and uncle come July. Exciting stuff, no doubt. With all this on deck and 2014 moving along, our time in Asia is getting farther away in the rear-view mirrow. But I'm finally okay with that.

I can sit here, content with what all the Lady and I were able to do. I can realize we were lucky, while I gobble down my grapefruit, listen to UGK or the new-ish Pusha T, and sip some hot chocolate. And if I ever start jonesing for some facets of our Asian life, I can always add a little sweetened condensed milk to my Hershey's.

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A random assortment of photos from Costa Rica and in the U.S. after our return. While some of the photos were taken by myself, a big shout out is in order for Alli who took a lot more of these overall than I did.

Tree climbing. No big deal. Crystal and Noah taking care of business. Seriously this is one of the coolest things I've ever done, like in life, not just on our trip. Check out the website and get in touch with Peter if you go to the CR: http://natureobservatorio.com/
Almost to the top, or bottom, of the treehouse. The entire structure (two floors, kitchen, toilet, shower, beds, lounge areas) is suspended. No drilling was conducted at all. So damn cool.
Birding in the morning after spending the night up there. Parrots and Toucans gone wild!
Look at that purdy birdy. Rubbed to perfection.

It had been awhile since I'd done a beer-can chicken, so what can I say, I was elated. And we smoked it too!
On top of a part of the Superstition Mountains, Arizona.

Polly (aka P-teazy aka P-town Supreme) is still kicking! Going on 16 years.

Buddies.
Creeping on a crested saguaro outside Pima Canyon.

Even got a Blacktail Rattlesnake (Crotalus molossus) out and about on our Pima Canyon visit. Welcome home indeed!

More Pima Canyon. If you've never been, go.
Making some Christmas time homemade BBQ sauce with Hailey and Barb.
Noah and Crystal on an outing to Madera Canyon. Their incredibly precious and unique dog Willow (aka Lil' Willie aka Ill Will) can be found below.

Our other temporary pet roommates (Irving and Raja). Watching, always watching, cats are.
You can't get a sub like this in Malaysia! Hell, you can't get a sub like this in AZ. Had to go to Jersey for this.
Christina is making moves at the bank!
Her snowy street on Martha's Vineyard.
And the new house her and boyfriend Owen just bought in the fall of last year. Adult moves!
Best. Dog. Ever. The Bear.
Yeah, it was chilly there. Sideways eye snow makes photos hard.
Bringing Sonoran dogs to Martha's Vineyard!
It is a science people.

Owen is into it!
The finished products. I definitely topped out at 4 or 5 this night.
Pretty sure it's mandatory for dudes to walk out onto frozen lakes and bust-a-move.
Walking around what I think has been deemed "the cutest darn neighborhood' on Martha's Vineyard.
They'sa so tiny.

Awesome family portrait.
Alli and I having some moments on the beach. "Drunk in Love," no big deal. Too cold to surfboard though. We be all night!
Obligatory photos from the famous Gay Head light house. The sand cliffs are majestic. So is Alli's pink down jacket.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Backpacking with the 'Rents

I knew we were in trouble after going through Singapore immigration. As we descended on the escalator to catch the bus that would take us across the Strait of Johor and into Malaysia the crowd before my eyes was huge. Alli and I have done the jaunt between Tioman and Singapore numerous times, mostly for visa reasons and work, but it never looked this bonkers before. We had a bus to catch in less than two hours and boy did this look hairy. The whole scene would have made me sweat and utter a few curse words under my breath if I was just with Alli or some friends, but this jaunt was quite different.

The Lady wasn't there, as the cast of characters on this journey was a novel one for me in SE Asia. I was rolling with the 'rents. My Dad (Tom) and his wife (June) were there, plus Alli's parents too (Ken and Barb). I had scooped them all up at the Singapore airport about 12 hours before. After not seeing anyone from home for almost a year and a half, since late July my Mom has visited along with everyone else above getting here in late August. It was all pretty surreal. But first I had to make it through that damn bus ordeal with the four of 'em.

Raft up! Bout to get down on the Ayung River north of Ubud, Bali, Indoneisa. *** All photos can be enlarged by clicking on them.***
The standard route from Singapore (SG) to Tioman goes like this: bus from SG to their border, get off and get stamped out of the Lion City; back on the bus to cross the Strait of Johor, ending up at Malaysian immigration where they stamp you in; hop on the bus again to go to the long-distance bus terminal in Johor Bahru. From there you catch another bus (2-3 hrs. depending on the driver's enthusiasm) to Mersing, the laid-back port town with ferries to Tioman, which also randomly has the best tiramasu cake I've had in Asia.

If you're lucky you can catch the ferry the same day of your bus journey, if not then a night in pleasant Mersing will do (remember: they do have bomb tiramasu), and the boat will shove off in the morning. The ferry terminal is a shining example of incompetence, complete with late ferries and the most asinine boarding process I've ever seen. Whew, I'm beat from just writing all that. There's a few more cogs to the whole machine, but I think you get the point. It can take more than an entire day to rock this slog. Yup, it sucks. And for some reason we thought it was a good idea to have our parents experience all this.

Above two photos: Having fun in the downpour at Asah Waterfall, on the south end of Tioman. Notice my Dad's snazzy hairdo.
With my Mom it was no trouble as the crowds were non-existent, but not with the other four. One problem planning for traveling with the parents is that Alli and I have been in backpacker mode the last 1.5 yrs. Now, I kinda have beef with that term since it usually implies that I like full-moon beach parties and culturally making an ass of myself, but truth be told we do roll with backpacks. In my case an external-frame (you heard right!) Kelty from the early 90s. I think my bag is older than Offspring's breakout album 'Smash.'

Anyway, that means we're usually roaming around on the cheap. Buses here and there; hotels/guesthouses/homestays with shared bathrooms, maybe even a wee bit of mold and water damage; sweat-stained sheets; you know the usual trappings. And when you gotta carry it all on your back, in a region that loves sunshine and endless humidity, you like your bag light too.

Buchanan Christmas card maybe? Kayaking Juara Bay.
Unfortunately, everything was stacked against our parents. The sweaty heat combined with bulky rolly bags did not mix. Their belongings were pushing over 20kg (44+lbs). And they don't let you stow these bags in the cargo bays on the bus, you gotta haul 'em in and do it fast. Another annoying fact about the border crossing: people are in quite the rush, and why, I'm not so sure. A lot of the time it reminds me of those who love to speed up when they can see the red light ahead.

And the cherry on top? People in SE Asia really don't like to wait in orderly lines. To put it lightly, people will cut the hell out a line. Usually lines become amorphous blobs reminiscent of cramped rock 'n' roll shows once the band hits the stage. I've had everyone from young punks to elderly ladies butt in front of me, even whole families. So if you're living here then you gotta buy into the practice. Cut, butt, do whatever. If you don't, you're gonna get left behind.

Might be my favorite photo. Ken enjoying this strange sight: the king of candy characters in the West, meeting the king of fruits in the East. Singapore airport, always full of surprises.
As we waited to board the bus to Malaysia the amorphous blob was in full swing. So I did what I always do now, pushed forward. But I'm not gonna lie, I kind of forgot the parents were there. When I looked behind me, they were way back and I realized I hadn't gave them the low-down on SE Asia lines. They looked quite perplexed. People were cutting left and right. It was hilarious, in a we-might-miss-our-bus due to this craziness kind of way. A sort of grand welcoming committee to SE Asia for my Dad, June, Ken and Barb! But alas, we boarded all the buses and were stamped in. The journey to Tioman and Juara was finally completed by lunchtime the next day, complete with late ferries, scamming taxi drivers and some delectable roti canai in the morning.

Yeah, the day we went to Asah Waterfall it rained a little bit. Maybe an understatement.
The four parents spent about 4-5 nights in Juara, before my Dad and June moved on to New Zealand with a quick stopover in Singapore. Having the four, plus my Mom earlier in the summer, in Juara was wonderful. They got to see where we've spent a year of our lives since leaving the USA last April. They all got the grand tour of the village, and surrounding ocean and jungle, whether on foot, in a sidecar or via kayaks. Rolling through a rainstorm with my Dad and June in the JTP sidecar definitely put a smile on my face. I even got my Mom and Dad to separately try scuba diving.

Ken and Barb stuck around SE Asia much longer, visiting KL and two locales in Indonesia: Gili Meno for scuba diving (Ken was so relaxed on holiday that for the first time in his diving career he forgot to put on his dive computer before heading underwater) and the rare opportunity to visit somewhere in SE Asia where motorized land transportation doesn't occur, and Ubud for Balinese culture, kick-ass rafting, and at least for me, the crispy duck. Barb even got to have a Singapore Sling at the bar that invented the drink on her birthday.

Ken and Barb in an ox cart on Gili Meno, Lombock, Indonesia. No motorized transportation exists on the Gili's, so the only way to get around is on your feet, by bicycle or ox cart.
My Mom's visit was a winner too. Celebrating Hari Raya with her was an incredible experience and she even got to see Alli and I in action since an international school trip was taking place when she was in town. Nothing like dinner time with 60 insane 6th graders! And I'm almost certain the talent show she witnessed that we always have at the end of our trips was the most bizarre of the whole season.

Sadly the only photo of my Mom and I the whole trip. In an office in Mersing. At least we got one of us! It's cause she's always taking incredible photos. Click the Hari Raya link above to see for yourself.
After not seeing family for so long, it was darn strange to suddenly be offering them their first bite of sambal chicken or explaining how to say 'thank you' in Bahasa Malaysia. But overall, through all the hiccups (transpo issues; pooping geckos and inquisitive monitor lizards; torrential downpours; new foods; lack of numerous American amenities), I'd say they nailed it.

To be honest, I was quite nervous having to host family, but I'd do it again, no questions asked. Just a few things would be different. Did I mention Pulau Tioman has an airport? All four were surely thinking of it at some point on our overland journey to Juara. But all along part of me new that bus/ferry route was gonna be a doozy, so that's why my Dad, June and I flew off the island when we left (a first for me). As my Dad said after landing in Singapore: "If I ever come back, we're flying. We're old and we like doing things the easy way. And that was easy." Fair enough.

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More photos below:
Bali Rafting on the Ayung River
Somewhere there's a Barb in that helmet and PFD combo.

Our raft guide photo bombing like a G.

The Buchanan ladies aren't having any fun at all.

Tioman
The always lovely waiting hall for the ferry.
Ken, looking ever so regal, in front of the Bushman, their home for a few nights in Juara.
We got dumped on. And what can I say? SE Asia has made me a wuss with the cold.

Kuala Lumpur
Trying all kinds of new weird foods. I'm sure there's some weeds in there as Ken would say.
Celebrating Merdeka Day (Malaysian Independence Day) right, in front of a giant Malaysia One made up of pineapples and small flags.
KL Tower.
Gili Meno
The three Gilis on our flight in. We went to the one in the middle.
Scuba logbook/happy hour time.
The Buchanan's home for the week.
Lots of both Hawksbill and Green turtles in the Gilis.
Bout to head on down.
Barb and I conducting a very serious buddy check before getting into the water.
Bali (Ubud)